My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I party with great urgency now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
