my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
