I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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