Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
