But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize