70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
