i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
