Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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