I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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