Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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