I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
