What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
