I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
