As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
