I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
