I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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