1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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