It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
