"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
