Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sext me about skeletons
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
