I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
