he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
