the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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