it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize