I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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