He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
