Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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