does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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