Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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