Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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