I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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