wrigley field is MILF paradise
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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