I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
