I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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