im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
