My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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