the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
