so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
