guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize