you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
