What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
