how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I want to be your penis for a week.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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