if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
