I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
