you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
