im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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