oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
