I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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