I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
