We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
