winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
