Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
