Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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