Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
