Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
