Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
