The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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