quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
