if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
