Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
can u get pink eye on your cock?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
